(This dream was last weekend – been too busy until now.)
I was walking along a road – going to the store, when I saw a little girl – like a street urchin. She was dirty and very sad. I stopped to talk to her and she told me that she was starving and that her father was very cruel. She told me that he deliberately starved her and my heart broke. I took her with me to the store and we waited to be served for a long time. There was a man behind me who left his baby in the pram and walked off. The baby was covered in a blanket and I had to make sure he could breathe.
There were several dogs in the shop, milling about – restless but not dangerous. When I got to the front of the line – desperate to purchase the food for the little starving girl – the women at the counter suddenly walked off for a break. I yelled at them – telling them that it wasn’t good customer service – but they ignored me.
Then I was driving down a road – very fast – following a truck. We went through a few red lights and I was worried about the police pulling me over.
When I got further down the road, I stopped at the lights and saw two policemen – riding on tiny unicycles. They were so low to the ground – I wondered how they could catch anyone. Then I saw – through a fence – a training academy for the police – where a rookie was being trained on how to ride one of the small unicycles. He was starting off on a rock – which had a groove down the middle to balance the unicycle.
Then I was inside the academy, alongside a police woman – who was trying to walk down a stairwell with ice skates on – but the blades were made out of rubber. She had a lot of difficulty going down the stairs – but I had no trouble (wearing the same kind of skates).
THEMES: Starvation, poverty, neglect, anxiety, responsibility, recklessness, ability.
SYMBOLS: Dogs, blanket, cars/driving, red lights, unicycles, school/education, skates.
EMOTIONS: Anger, concern, compassion, reckless behavior, ridicule, competition.
ARCHETYPES: Fathers, children, dogs, police, shop attendants.
INTERPRETATION: The starving girl represented me – as I try to nurture and take care of that side of me that I feel has been neglected. I have – of late – been concerned with my health. However I’ve also been concerned with spreading myself too thin and not being available to others like I feel I should be.
Women – and men – often have issues with abandonment and I think this dream was dredging up some old issues in that vein. It’s funny how you think you’re over the old stuff and at times – they rear their ugly heads – forcing you to face the fact that you still need to deal with them. (Or at least – aspects of yourself that you still do battle with – in the subconscious areas of your mind.)
Dogs can represent the Self – and perhaps they indicated that they are waiting for me to recognize them – as they too were waiting in the line. The baby being covered by a blanket could either represent a project that I’m neglecting (I know of two that are niggling in the back of my mind!) – or an aspect of myself that I’m covering up or ignoring. Sometimes my impatience gets the better of me – so in respect to that – maybe the dream was telling me that it’s time to uncover the things I prefer to hide from.
Waiting in line could symbolize how I feel with my writing and my business – never feeling like I’m getting anywhere. Again – my impatience is an issue here – as I know that I’m taking steps to get to where I want to be. The women at the counter who turned away and ignored me could indicate either how I feel others view my efforts at getting my book and business noticed – or even how I am towards the important things in my life.
Racing down the road – speeding through the red lights (and following someone else doing the same thing) represents how I’m travelling through my life – at breakneck speed and feeling like there’s no end to the ‘chase’. Seeing the police on unicycles could symbolize how I view authority – which could be applied to my job (ha ha – true – but I’m not divulging here!) Especially as they were struggling and the fact that I was better at walking down stairs on rubber skates! I am at a phase in my life when I finally feel capable of doing anything – a first for me!
SUMMARY: At times I feel very capable and that I’m doing well with the balancing acts – in regards to working a full time job, writing, promoting etc. Other times – not so good – feeling insecure, vulnerable and incapable of pushing through. I do have moments where I feel bad about all the time I’m spending on my projects – and that there’s just not enough time to achieve all that I want to achieve. It would be nice to be a ‘lady of leisure’ and have all the time in the world to devote to all the things and people in my life – and it’s so difficult to prioritize and organize schedules, etc.
In order to ‘normalize’ myself and my life – I need to incorporate a workable schedule and start meditating again. That would help me put things in perspective and gain a better understanding of where I’m headed and what I want to do with the skills I have. I fear that I’ll never get to the point where I can say “I’ve made it!” But – made what? Will I shrivel up if I “make it”? Is the struggle the impetus I need in order to create? If I was a lady of leisure – would I have the urge to write – or would I rest on my laurels, watch tv and eat bon bons for the rest of my life? I hope not – but all I want to do is write!
Here’s the link to my ebook on Amazon – $3.95:
Here’s the link to the books’ website:
and here’s my Author website:
It’s been so hard – as any self-published author knows – to deal with marketing and promoting on multiple platforms, especially when working full time. But it’s finally paid off – my first review and it’s 5 stars! Yay!
Delwyn of the Realms (Storming Archives – Book 1) – is the culmination of my chronicles – realized as a fantasy novel. As explained previously – I decided not to write a memoir and started channeling some of my experiences into a fantasy novel. (Which was a young adult novel at first – but it was so much more fun changing it to an adult fantasy – about a woman who deals with hypnagogic hallucinations and astral projection, and finds a mirror portal to the dream world.)
I’m almost finished with the first draft of the sequel – which has become a wild ride – to say the least. It was exhilarating to discover how easy the sequel flowed, once the first book was done. I started a group board on Pinterest – called “Storming” – where fellow (invited) pinners help to inspire me with images regarding the themes in the sequel.
What is daunting is the marketing and promoting. The platforms I’m using are Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads and Goodkindles, Shelfari, Tumblr, Pinterest, Google+, Youtube – and others! I’ve used Fiverr for the book cover and advertising. I’ve paid for Twitter blasts and ad campaigns on Goodreads, Facebook etc.
However I knew that reviews would be the number one selling point – and my Beta readers (who say they’re loving the book!) – are taking their time putting reviews on Amazon. I am humbled by the amount of support they are giving me and understand that it takes time to first read a book and then review it. I’m just impatient – and seeing as I am not tech savvy – it’s been a giant learning curve.
Would I prefer to be going through a publisher instead? (Should I be so lucky? Is lucky the right word?!) I’d have to say – No – as much as the idea of someone picking it up and producing it for me is enticing. The problem is – especially these days – it could take an eon to finally get a deal with a publisher (or hook an agent), and after all is said and done – you still have to put a lot of legwork into the marketing and promoting.
So – for me – I find that having control over the book, and stretching myself thin and driving myself crazy with the promoting etc – has been a rewarding experience, after all is said and done. I released the novel as an ebook on Amazon in early Feb this year, and have only sold three units – but I started a freebie campaign today and I already have a 5 star review! (Oh Lordy – wiping sweat off my brow – teeth gnashing momentarily paused!) As at 9:19pm on this first day of the freebie campaign – 23 people have downloaded it.
I used to baulk at the idea of giving away my hard work for nothing – but the cloud has a silver lining. The great review was worth it’s weight in gold. It wasn’t selling that well without a review – so the freebie campaign has become a viable option. (The campaign ends on 3/10/15.)
What was bizarre – was that some of my Beta readers emailed me with glowing reports – but they weren’t putting the reviews on Amazon! (Sometimes it’s like herding cats – you have to be respectful and patient – not a strong point for me!) But it’s paying off and I’m learning as I go. The trick – I think, for any writer – is to persevere and not give up. Keep your eyes on the prize and remind yourself that your hard work is worthy of the struggle. (Pant, pant!)
I have created the paperback version on Createspace and am waiting for the proof to arrive so I can review it before I finally release it. I’m looking into creating bookmarks to take to bookshops, libraries etc. It’s amazing just how much is involved with promoting and marketing. AND IT NEVER ENDS! But I wouldn’t have it any other way! Once the sequel is ready for release, I will continue offering the first book free – occasionally – to keep pushing the units!!!! Where’s the vodka?