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Dream Blogging – Kevin Spicey

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photo by Jurvetson (flickr)

Before I start – I’d like to advise that Mr Spacey is one of my favorite actors of all time – and this dream has absolutely nothing to do with the actor or his career. Males appear in a woman’s dream as an animus – either as a depiction of her relationship to them or as a masculine aspect of her own persona.

I had this dream this morning (my dreams usually happen in the morning!)

I was at some house that belonged to a crazy couple – who were both men and one was in drag. (Very bad drag, I might add.) They were standing next to each other and the “husband” had his arm around the “wife”. They were being silly and cracking jokes about couples – generally making fun of them by way of parody. Then one of them (I can’t remember who) went off to conduct his beauty regime – which consisted of a massive smear of cold cream across the face.

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He kept saying how great the product was and that I had to tell Kevin Spacey – of all people. So I went to a very posh condo and went up the elevator to Mr Spacey’s room. He couldn’t come to the door, so he yelled out for me to wait. It didn’t take long for him to come to the door – completely naked – carrying a briefcase!

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I gave him the message about the cold cream and he became wildly excited about it. He said “Let’s go!” and ran ahead of me, down a narrow, white staircase which lead directly to a large swimming pool (inside the building.) There was blue tiling everywhere and he jumped in – up to his knees – wading through to the other side. He continued raving about the cold cream as he made his way across the pool – waving the briefcase in the air as he went. He was ecstatic and shouting like a wild man.

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I had made my way to the other side of the pool and was embarrassed seeing his “proverbials” flapping about – but he didn’t seem to care – as he was so joyous! Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and I yelled a warning to Mr Spacey. He immediately dove under water and pretended to be swimming. I was worried that the other man would see that he was naked.

THEMES: Fun, parody, couples, gender, promotion, being open and revealing, excitement, public persona, shame.

SYMBOLS: Cold cream, drag, nakedness, briefcase, pool, underwater, blue (tiles), luxury.

EMOTIONS: Humor, excitement, happiness, shame/embarrassment.

ARCHETYPES: Couples (husband and wife – parody), Man in drag, Famous public figure, naked man.

INTERPRETATION: I’m kind of at a loss to explain the parody of a couple – by two men, one in drag. A long time ago – I did believe that I would never get married and thought it was a load of horse-hockey! Now that I have a husband (we both waited until we were mature to marry – ha ha!) – I don’t see marriage as bogus and am very happy for that. The couple could be representing ‘partnership’ or it could simply be my subconscious reminding me how I used to think the idea was stupid.

The man smearing the cold cream across his face was still being silly when he did it – but he was sincere when he said that it was the best cold cream. It looked like someone had smacked him across the face with a thick wad (pardon the pun!) of white paint. White is a common color for me at the moment – even though white is technically not a color – but the absence of color. It symbolizes purity, or maybe a blank canvas – or even being ‘white-washed’. I would say that as it was across the face – it indicates the facade I’m putting out there in public. Maybe it’s my inner-self telling me that everything’s going to be okay with what I’m doing, having said – over and over – that it was great and that I had to tell someone (Mr Spacey) about it.

Mr Spacey represents the public – and how I’m trying to get people excited about my books and numerology business. (Which is funny – as a long time ago – I sent him a Numerological profile – when I had first started out and was so naive!) Being naked symbolizes baring your all in public – and the fact that he didn’t care, maybe showed how I should be. He was carrying a briefcase – which represents business – a receptacle holding your ‘work’. The fact that he was flailing it about wildly probably denotes how I feel sometimes, when it comes to marketing and promotion.

When the other man came along – it seemed like the ‘cop’ inside me – coming to see what was going on. When I turned and told Mr Spacey (therefore, my masculine self) about the other man, he dove underwater and pretended he was swimming. This has a lot to do with how I downplay what I’m doing with my book etc – when talking to others. I am a typical Aussie when it comes to downgrading my ego and making fun of myself. Maybe the dream was trying to show me how I make fun of myself – therefore belittling myself and what I’m trying to do in life.

The fact that he was first treading the water – and then underneath – also shows how usually I’m fine and above being emotional or too ‘precious’ about myself – until someone else is looking. Then I pretend that I’m just like everybody else, nothing special etc.

SUMMARY: I have to swallow the bitter pill of being too precious about myself and my ‘wares’. I have to stop playing down all my achievements and back it all up with a healthy dose of ambition and confidence. Low self esteem does tend to hold me back sometimes, so I need to keep doing what I’m doing, think of the bigger picture and stop trying to hide. I have to develop a thicker skin and just charge ahead. I can still be sensitive to other’s needs – but I have to remember my own needs as well. When it comes to my attitude to my marriage – it’s solid and we have a lot of fun together. I just think my past was flushed out to show how wrong I’d been. My husband is very supportive of me and I thank and love him deeply for it!

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Dream Blogging – Putting down the Ritz

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I had this dream early this morning. My husband and I were staying at a ritzy hotel near a beach. My father and my uncle came to visit us there and my uncle was a lot thinner – like he had been working out and dieting. He also had a new, much younger wife. My husband went down to the bar to meet them before me, and when I did head off, I came across two sets of stairs leading down. One was carpeted and the other was shiny marble. I chose to walk down the marble stairs, even though I knew it might be easier to slip. I just didn’t want to walk down what I thought was old, used carpet.

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As I walked down the stairs – I noticed that my pants were halfway down – revealing my butt – and I didn’t care! I was also wearing a blue and white striped tank top – with no bra. My attitude was – too bad, I can do what I want.

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Before we sat down at the table, I went over to talk to my uncle and put my hands on his chest. It wasn’t sexual at all – as I just couldn’t believe that it was the same man. His muscles were hard and he seemed a lot younger. He was worried about how much money we were spending, even though it seemed that he didn’t have any money problems himself. He saw my silver rings on my fingers and dragged me over to the window – so he could check out the quality of the rings. As he was appraising them, I kept telling him that they weren’t expensive and that my husband had bought them on the internet. He didn’t believe me and kept trying to figure out their worth.

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Then we sat down and I was the only one who ordered a drink – which was a martini. I needed a straw and my uncle had two straws on his plate. One was short and the other was tall. I took the tall one and drank my martini in one gulp. Then his young wife told me that she had put my uncle on a strict diet – but let him have a small amount of butter – rather than the slabs he used to pile on his food.

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Later on – I was walking back up the stairs when I saw a snooty baby with his mother, who was pushing a shopping cart which had a big, empty box in it. The baby was crawling around and when I tried to pick him up he became fussy and tried to avoid me. The mother then asked me to help her find a place to put the empty box, so I showed her a closet and she started trying to stuff it in the upper shelf. As she did this, I went to the baby and eventually persuaded him to let me pick him up. Then he stopped being so snooty and wanted to be carried somewhere.

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THEMES: Money, extravagance, public persona, weight/health, appearances, new ventures.

SYMBOLS: Stairs, resort hotel, alcohol, straws, pants down, rings, butter, box, closet

EMOTIONS: Pride, frugality, lack of concern, battle of wits, wanting to be natural

ARCHETYPES: Baby, Mother, Father, Uncle, Husband, Young woman

INTERPRETATION: I got the sense that my attitude during the dream was one of nonchalance – not caring what others thought of me. It could easily indicate how I’ve been feeling with my public persona and putting myself out there – trying to develop a thicker skin. The expensive resort and hotel (if representing the Mansion of the Soul) – could be how others’ see me and my current situation, in regards to becoming a published author, etc. (Especially my family.) It’s funny how people expect that as soon as you’re published – you’re rich!

That would explain my uncle worrying about my rings and how much they cost. Rings usually represent a bond between people, and one of them was my engagement ring. My husband was with me but wasn’t fussed about anything that happened. He’s usually a great support and is not the type to worry about my writing, promoting etc. It was the other males – particularly my uncle – who were overly concerned about how I was acting and how much I was spending. As my animus – my uncle probably denotes the masculine side to me that does worry – which would be true – as I have been concerned about how much it can cost when marketing and promoting my book and business. (I have been more careful lately – scaling back and finding cheap, free or unique ways of advertising.)

The fact that my uncle was thinner and even younger – could indicate how I’ve been more careful with my eating habits lately. Having a younger wife was a bit confusing – although she could represent the side of me that is concerned about the way I look. When she mentioned butter, it made me think of excess and luxury – and again – to be careful, not only with my fiances but also my health. (I have also been lamenting getting older lately!)

Choosing the marble stairs over the old carpeted stairs is pretty obvious. I didn’t want the safe option – or the comfortable, well worn path. I wanted the new, risky and glamorous path! It was ironic that even though I was using the ritzy stairs – my pants were halfway down – baring my butt – and I didn’t care. I am striving for a new way of life – but wanting to maintain my true self – warts and all! (Rest assured – I don’t have warts!) Going bra-less could also mean that I won’t be shackled by other’s expectations. The wild-woman side of me was saying, “I can have my cake and eat it too!”

Having the martini when no one else was drinking, shows how I can tend to be a little over the top – and maybe denotes how I am willing to step out and take a risk when others are being more careful. Reaching for the longer straw – rather than the shorter straw, shows how I don’t want to just settle for less anymore. However – the longer straw wouldn’t fit in my glass and I had difficulty drinking – but I did it. I remember thinking that the shorter straw would have been better – but my greed (and possibly – my ego) got the better of me. But after I sucked the drink up – I was happy that I had done so.

Going up the stairs to the mother and baby – shows that, in the end – I should not forget the important things in life when I “rise to the top”. The snooty baby symbolizes myself and my attitude with my new ventures – or – fear of being ignored or dismissed. I want to make sure that as I’m getting older – I’m still viable and worthy of attention. The mother kept distracting me by asking for my assistance with the empty box. Maybe she signified a side to me that worries about it all being for nothing? Trying to stash the empty box in a closet showed a possible concern over wasted effort. When the baby finally took to me and wanted to be taken somewhere – it showed how a new venture really wants to get off the ground.

SUMMARY: I need to remember balance when “putting myself out there.” Sometimes the well-worn path is the right one, but it doesn’t hurt to tread on new ground and see what happens – as new opportunities may arise. I need to stop worrying about how other’s perceive me – but at the same time – to be cautious in regards to how I present myself, in case it comes back to bite me. Baring my ass – is a pun – but is also literal. I can be authentic and natural – to a degree. Again – caution is a big message in this dream – however it doesn’t hurt for me to go 50-50. As in previous dreams, steady as she goes – but calculated risks are fine – as long as they’re calculated!


Dream Blogging – Patchwork of scenes

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This is a dream that I had last week but have been too busy to post. A lot happening in this one – one of those hodge-podge dreams that zig-zags here and there!

At first I was at Tina’s place (my son’s girlfriend’s mother – phew!) – back in Australia. We were in the kitchen and she was at the stove, preparing to cook. I was helping with the dishes but there were small things going on that were preventing me from completing the task. Just issues with organization. This was during the day, as we were both at the kitchen window and sunlight was pouring in.

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Then it was night and I was driving and speeding along a winding road. I noticed a police car behind me and I became paranoid, so I slowed down and kept it under the speed limit. I remember that when I was speeding – I was doing 50 in a 40 zone – so after I spotted the police, I dropped it back down to just under 40. Luckily – they were distracted by a speeding car at the bottom of the hill, so they took off after it.

Then I was in a shopping mall with my two grandchildren – Leon who is 4 years old and Noah as a toddler (even though he is only 5 months old). I saw a woman who I used to work with, doing a product presentation in the middle of the walkway. She had a crazy blonde hairdo that reminded me of the lead singer from the 80’s band – A Flock of Seagulls!

I took Leon and Noah to a cafe and went up to the counter to order our food. I ordered two burgers, a coffee and then tried to order some fish sandwiches for later – but the guy at the counter was rude and arguing with me over the extra sandwiches. I told him that it was none of his business, but then a nice guy came up and told him to go back to the kitchen.

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Then the nice guy took my order and was very professional and polite. I opened up my wallet and there was a lot of cash stacked in there. I was worried about other’s seeing it.

THEMES: Issues with organizing; worried about being caught. Public persona, interactions with others.

SYMBOLS: Dishes/housework/organizing. Driving, police, breaking the law. Hill top. Crazy hairdo. Food, money.

EMOTIONS: Annoyance, fear of authority and breaking the law. Wondering, confusion, being secretive.

ARCHETYPES: Stable woman, crazy woman, nasty man, nice man. Police, Children.

INTERPRETATION: A lot of oscillation between opposites – especially behaviors exhibited by my anima and animus. Tina – the stable woman – represents the persona that I fear others don’t see me as. Being in the kitchen (the ‘family’ room in the Mansion of the Soul) – shows how I operate in regards to my family. (Worry, feeling inadequate?) Even though I am always told how happy and ‘together’ I am – inner doubts about how I am perceived were represented by my inability to complete the tasks in the kitchen. This could also symbolize my regret over not being back in Australia – which I am working on – as my husband and I hope to relocate in a few years’ time.

Speeding on the top of the hill could represent how I feel I might appear to others – in regards to my promotional activities and public persona. I am constantly marketing and promoting on the internet – as I need to get my book and my Numerology business into gear. Going over the speed limit could indicate either my embarrassment or fear that other’s might see me as striving too hard to ‘get to the top’. I know that it’s my life – so it’s no one else’s business – however there is a side to me that worries over ‘rising above my rank’ or station! Maybe dropping speed showed that I might need to calm down, which is funny – as I have been telling myself to go easy and get back to what I love – which is writing!

Seeing the woman in the mall with the crazy hairdo could also be hinting at my public persona. At times, when on Twitter, Facebook etc – I feel like I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone and projecting a ‘crazy’ image of myself. It’s amazing how promoting yourself can feel like you’re entering an invisible circus – especially on the internet.

The rude man in the cafe could symbolize that side of myself that thinks I’m being ridiculous – like biting off more than I could chew, when I ordered the extra sandwiches. However – food symbolizes sustenance, and the fish in the sandwiches could symbolize spirituality. So it could be my inner, masculine self – telling me that I should just work and stop ‘fluffing’ about with the writing and numerology. Or it could represent the negative voice trying to sway me from striving for what inspires me: the authentic life.

The nice man resolved the situation and took my order – pretty much letting me know that it was all ok and I could have what I wanted! I was also worrying about Leon and Noah – so that could mean that I need to do all this for myself and my family – to have something solid and meaningful to pass on to them. (Also to show an example re: living the authentic life!)

Dreaming of money is often a wish fulfilling aspect of the dreamer. We all would love to have our wallets and purses overflowing with cash! The fact that I was worried that others would see, might indicate that I’m either afraid of success – or worried about having to share! I’m a very generous person – so the latter doesn’t seem that feasible to me – yet there is a side of me that is concerned about others taking what’s mine! Especially when the cost of promoting and marketing can be quite daunting!

SUMMARY: Mostly to do with my public persona and how I appear to others: particularly in regards to my writing and my business. I want to succeed – but I’m also afraid of succeeding – for fear of others seeing me in a different light. Overall – I think the dream was trying to tell me that in the end – everything will be ok – and that I still need to be mindful and scale it back, in order to remain authentic. Also – even though others might think I’m crazy – it’s what I think and how I feel that counts. What I leave behind as a legacy is all tied in with following my dreams – but keeping at least one foot on the ground!

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Soundcloud ad for my novel “Delwyn of the Realms”

Here’s the link to my ebook on Amazon – $3.95:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00TD0RF7E

Here’s the link to the books’ website:

http://www.delwynoftherealms.com/

and here’s my Author website:

http://www.kellyproudfoot.com/