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Existential Crisis in a Teacup

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I haven’t posted for a while – on any of my blogs. I felt bad for it – but I felt worse for not writing my own stuff – being bogged down in freelance work. Then I felt bad for feeling bad – as I should be grateful that I had the opportunity to leave my full time job to be a writer. I am grateful – and my husband is a saint for encouraging me to do so. I couldn’t complain to him about my internal predicament. Getting the flu in between and going down for the count didn’t help any.

I then found myself plunging into a strange fog which I am still trying to fight my way out of. I became immersed in a spiraling whirlpool – doing my best to grasp onto whatever debris or beams of light that showed up here and there. They slipped out of my hands so quickly that I wondered if they existed at all. My dreams have been intense – and hopeful. When I get the chance I’ll post them on my Collective Unconscious blog.

I also veered away from my Shapeshifting blog – neglecting to chronicle my “progress” on healthy living. I’ve been sleeping a lot and doing my best to drag myself to the computer every day to complete my freelance writing wherever possible. One thing I know for sure is that – for the most part – this fog or “crisis” has to do with my impending 50th birthday in September. I am not happy about it – at all. It’s not so much the fact that I’m ageing – but rather that I’m losing time.

My identity has become a mist, or a vapor that has no form. All that I projected about who I thought I was and what I was doing has cleared to reveal the truth. There is nothing. I am nothing. Nothing matters. It’s all pretend. We keep on kicking along just to save face – to make ourselves feel that it’s all – somehow – worth it. Worth the struggle. One day we’ll get there. But where is that? And who says that it’s “somewhere” – the destination we’ve been working towards?

It seems to be a collective grudging towards the only definite element in life: death. I don’t even know what that is – or what it means. The ceasing to be. That sounds awful – and I’m sorry to be so down. Please don’t let it infect you. If anything – I’m writing this out to chronicle my dark patch. I see myself posting tweets etc about my novels – begging for people to buy my books, blah blah blah. It seems so pointless. The emptiness is swallowing me up – but I have to write about it. I have to “sublimate” it – in order to make sense of what is happening to me. Maybe it might help someone else out there – or maybe they can help me.

I stopped writing last night – due to plummeting further downwards. I could see that I wasn’t doing myself any good, even though I thought at the beginning that writing about my “malaise” would make me feel better. I went to bed – with the start of a panic attack looming on the horizon. I was breathing shallow and on the verge of tears that wouldn’t come. I got into bed and focused on my breathing – in a kind of forced meditation. After about half an hour I fell asleep.

When in the clutches of despair, it’s important to remember just to breathe. The only thing in the world that matters is breathing – at that point. I told myself that – if nothing else in the universe mattered – breathing was all I could do. The knowledge that everything would make sense – eventually – kept me going, even though the thoughts in the back of my mind kept bubbling to the surface from time to time. Thoughts such as: “what’s the point?” or “what then?” as well as “I’m just prolonging the obvious.”

I pushed them away and continued breathing. I dreamed about having different cars. First – a red one – which I parked seamlessly in a tight spot. Twice. I amazed myself. Then I had a blue convertible. It was under a dirty blanket and I had to tell a friend to keep her son from playing in it. Then I had a huge, thick branch of marijuana buds. Each bud was intricately wrapped in foil. I wanted to smoke it but people kept showing up so I had to stash it somewhere. Then I woke up.

There are a lot of symbols and related meanings which I will explore in my Collective Unconscious blog soon. The main messages I take from the dream include reserved energy, hiding depressive thoughts and the desire to lose myself. Today I’m getting myself in gear. I have decided to create a roster or weekly agenda for myself. I need order and direction – to pave my way out of this crisis. I’ll post an update later in the week.

I took some photos of myself last night – in an attempt to preserve whatever fading looks I think I might have before I hit 50. I used some photo editing and filters – but for the most part – it’s me. They make me laugh – now.

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When I’m feeling like this – I have to remind myself that there are others in the world who are living wretched lives. They would do anything to have a fraction of what I have. Therefore – it seems that I have no right to complain or feel depressed. But what is that thought supposed to do – comfort me? Isn’t that wrong? Does pulling myself up by the bootstraps help them any? Do I owe it to the less fortunate to live a fulfilled life? Isn’t that rubbing their noses in my fortunate life?

What is humbling is the huge smiles on their faces – in the middle of a war zone or filthy, hopeless conditions. The fact that they can make the most of a horrible situation; that they can find the silver lining. Clean water or peace would mean the world to them. In my little corner of the world – I do have access to clean water, a peaceful home and food. I should be grateful. My own mind is the enemy.

Time to whip it into shape.

 

AudioBook Review: The Willow Lake Group by Kelly Proudfoot

The Page Turner

The Willow Lake GroupThe Willow Lake Group by Kelly Proudfoot

AudioBook review

Overall *****
Performance *****
Story *****

I had finished reading the book and then about a week later I was able to listen to the Willow Lake Group from Audible. I realized that it might bring the story to a new level. I already had pictures of the characters in my head, now I would have voices to go with them. The story was filled with love, friendship, obsession, and secrets. When the narrator took on the voices with such skill it was amazing. It did indeed bring it to a new level. It was wonderful to hear.

Kelly Proudfoot has written a beautiful story about a group of people that meet to read poetry and each person in the group was as different as they could be. When Gavin and Liam came into town, having only met on the train…

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Book Review: The Willow Lake Group by Kelly Proudfoot

The Willow Lake Group by Kelly Proudfoot My rating: 5 of 5 stars It is hard to categorize this as a romance, or chick lit, it is really just a beautifully told story of a group of people that forme…

Source: Book Review: The Willow Lake Group by Kelly Proudfoot

Book Review: The Willow Lake Group by Kelly Proudfoot

Read my first review for my novel The Willow Lake Group!

The Page Turner

The Willow Lake GroupThe Willow Lake Group by Kelly Proudfoot
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It is hard to categorize this as a romance, or chick lit, it is really just a beautifully told story of a group of people that formed a bond. A wonderful heartfelt bond. They met at different times in their lives and formed a group. They welcomed Gavin and Liam into the group when they arrived in town.

The characters are so well formed, I can see them vividly in my mind sitting around the room chatting and teasing and falling in love. I can see their faces when they participate in poetry readings and while enjoying a day at the fair. Kelly Proudfoot has created a community filled with eccentrics, beauties, reformed bad boys and people with secrets.

When they invited in Liam and Gavin to participate they opened themselves to hurt and happiness. Both men…

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The Willow Lake Group Freebies

The Willow Lake Group Freebie Offers! Amazon – Audible (Also available on iTunes) Listen to the talented Tim Campbell!

Source: The Willow Lake Group Freebies

The Willow Lake Group Freebies

Audible and Review Offer

The Willow Lake Group Freebie Offers! Amazon – Audible (Also available on iTunes)

Listen to the talented Tim Campbell!

Listen to my Book!

Listen to The Willow Lake Group – narrated by Tim Campbell –

Source: Listen to my Book!

Listen to my Book!

Listen to The Willow Lake Group – narrated by Tim Campbell –

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Tips and Hints for Indie Authors

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I’d like to advise those who read this that I’m probably in the same position – struggling to make my way through a vast, crowded ocean full of vessels and bobbing heads who all have the same thing in common. We all want to make our mark and get our work noticed, make sales and increase our status – while we scramble to reach higher ground.

I am by no no means an expert and definitely not a high profile author. I am also still learning and making mistakes, so you might well ask, “Why does she think she could help me?” My answer is – I can only help those who are currently in the same position I was in two years ago – when the world of self-publishing was a huge, looming giant in the center of a maze that was continuously morphing and adding new levels every day.

Of course, we are all at different stages in our writing careers. When we share what we’ve learned, we fill in the gaps and strengthen our positions. Some might find what I share here incredibly useful, while others might yawn and say, “Been there; done that!” Therefore, this post is meant for the former – while the latter can surely think of other tidbits to share via comments – if they so desire.

When navigating the maze of never-ending information and hints and tips for authors who decide to go the route of self-publishing – it’s inevitable that you will run into some – if not all of the following:

  • Dead ends or leads that go nowhere – leading you on a wild goose chase
  • Scams and fraudulent claims about services offering the earth
  • Monthly charges for bogus programs who do little or nothing for your work
  • Websites and services that are all fluff with no substance
  • Confusing terms, buzz-words or language that only rehash prior info
  • Fads and trends that distract you without adding any value

There’s probably more that I could’ve added to this list – but for me – the above has been the most prominent during my own promoting and marketing journey, not to mention the actual art of writing!

I’m attacking this subject from the position of an author who either can’t or won’t spend a lot of money. What I find interesting about “high profile” authors, meaning those who we see all over social media and getting many reviews on Amazon, etc. – is that, while they seem to be doing extremely well – obviously spending quite a substantial amount of money for sleek or flashy advertising and so on, they still seem to be struggling like the rest of us.

I say that without a shred of jealousy or bitchiness. Sure, the majority of those authors are strangers to me – most of them are not well-known and some of them are still working a full time day job. I have often ventured into the world of expensive services and programs, only to discover that the bottom line was me all along. Throwing money into a bottomless pit with scant return bit me on the butt most of the time – and hurt my bank account.

So, without further ado – here’s the skinny (or my skinny!) – broken into two parts: The Writing Life and The Marketing/Promoting Life.

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The Writing Life

There’s a glut of writing advice out there – in the form of daily prompts, newsletters, courses, websites and webinars. Many websites have their own links to information such as “100 Best websites for writers” and the like. The majority of them are great and you should seek them out. Here’s what helped me (and continues to help me) in random order:

Websites:

http://thewritelife.com/ (Great advice)

http://www.writersdigest.com/ (Wonderful)

http://www.grammarbook.com/ (Grammar and Punctuation)

http://www.writersmarket.com/ (Especially good for freelancing)

http://fundsforwriters.com/ (Tips and Tools – great site!)

https://writeon.amazon.com (Get feedback as you write!)

http://theditors.com/ (First 3,000 words critiqued for free)

goodinaroom.com – How to develop a pitch for TV

http://www.creative-writing-now.com/ (Great basic advice and free stuff!)

https://criticl.me/ (A great place to post truthful or even “dangerous” writing)

https://www.thekindlebookreview.net/author-resources/ (Great links!)

http://selfpublishersshowcase.com/author-resources/ (Great site for Indies)

Okay – I could go on and on – but these are great for a start.

I find the best advice encompasses the basics – as you’ll discover what works for you along the way. It all depends on the genre you write in and what you expect to get out of it. Some only write for pleasure and are happy to share their writing with those closest to them. Others write for a cause and want to change the world, while many of us write to escape – or at least – to create worlds full of adventure and other things we may feel are lacking in our lives. (Notwithstanding those of us who simply adore great literature and who are “addicted” to the pleasure of the actual process of creation.)

You’ll find basic rules of thumb everywhere – but here’s what I’ve found to be the most useful – in terms of the creative process of writing:

No matter what – just write

Save the editing and revision until the end – if you can stand it

Outline and plan your book – before you start writing

Create a chapter by chapter synopsis to use as a guide (it will change as you go)

Always use spellcheck and a thesaurus

Research everything you are not 100% sure about

Keep your finger on the pulse – but don’t be swayed by useless fads and trends

Be true to yourself – yet open to constructive criticism

Don’t take a bad review personally

Use beta readers and proper editing (when you can afford it)

Read the work of others

Share what you know and support other writers

Start a blog and post regularly

Hone your skills, take a class and/or join a writing group

Don’t ever give up!

I’ve mentioned before how I write every chance I get. When I was working my 9-5 job, I was writing in my breaks and lunchtimes – then after work and sometimes even before work (when I could get up in time!) and on the weekends. In between – I’d be scribbling notes on anything I could get my hands on – as well as emails to myself.

The Marketing/Promoting Life

Now that I’m a full time author and freelancer – I’ve structured my days to ensure that I get to spend time writing – outside of promoting and marketing or creating my own ads and blog posts.

There are great, cheap or free services out there – which I will share further on – but I found it rewarding to use programs such as paint, Corel and an old Microsoft program (which is easier than Photoshop) – called Microsoft Photo Premium 10. I’m no expert and I’m sure that those experienced Graphic Designers would scoff and cringe at my ads, book trailers, banners etc. For me – it’s all about saving money – while at the same time having a lot of fun! Here’s a few examples of what I’ve done on my own (using free images – websites to be shared further on.)

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Fram 10 - WLG

(Book cover created by Jessica on Fiverr – the rest of the ad was me!)

Okay – on with cheap and freebie services (for creating ads etc):

https://www.fiverr.com/ (Anything you can think of – incl. Book Covers – for $5 and up)

https://pixabay.com/ (Completely free images and video footage!)

http://www.freeimages.com/ (Free images)

http://www.freeepy.com/ (Free images)

https://foodiesfeed.com/ (Free food images)

https://unsplash.com/ (Free images)

http://cupcake.nilssonlee.se/ (Free images)

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Main_Page (Free images)

https://videos.pexels.com/ (Free video footage)

http://www.videezy.com/ (Free video footage)

http://www.lifeofvids.com/ (Free video footage)

http://freegifmaker.me/ (Make your own gifs)

https://www.canva.com/ (Free banners, wallpapers, book covers and lots more)

http://www.bookbuzzr.com/ (Cheap book “flipper” to display excerpts)

http://tineye.com/ (Find out where images on the web came from!)

This list is by no means exhaustive – but it’s a good start!

Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with forking out a little cash for professional services. For me – I’m on the fence – as it depends on your goals and how much you’re willing to spend. I agree with the adage that “you get what you pay for” – but it’s heartening to see many people out there willing to offer their products and services for free or on the cheap. That being said – I know that more discerning authors (and readers) might consider a “home-made” ad, book cover etc to be less valuable or worthy than one with a sleek design.

It’s sad that poorly marketed books can fall by the wayside – especially when their stories are well-written and worth the read. I’ve also seen many well-marketed books with great exposure for stories that are at best – run-of-the-mill or poorly written. This is the quandary that indie authors often find themselves battling with.

Here are some great sites for Promoting and Marketing:

https://www.fiverr.com/ (Anything you can think of – incl. Book Covers – for $5 and up)

http://www.ebooksoda.com/authors/ (Cheap ebook promotion)

http://booktweeters.com/ (Reasonable pricing with good conversion)

http://selfpublishingadvice.org/ (Great info on promoting, marketing etc)

http://www.indiesunlimited.com/advertise/for-authors/ (Free promos etc.)

http://www.bookdaily.com/ (Emails sample chapters to readers)

https://www.librarything.com/ (Ebook giveaways, etc)

https://www.rafflecopter.com/ (Advertise your Giveaway on your blog or site)

Awesome tools for Authors! (119 tips and resources!)

One important thing I’d like to point out is that self publishing is daunting on it’s own – before you even start to think about promoting and marketing. Whether you decide to use Amazon (user friendly – well, I think so!) and Createspace, Kobo or some other platform – publishing your book is one of many steps in the life of your writing.

When it comes to social media, setting up profiles on Twitter, Facebook and Google+ are just the tip of the iceberg – and some would say not worth the time and effort. Others say that email marketing – using newsletters (and services such as Aweber or Mailchimp) are the way to go – however, in order to build your mailing lists, you need to be able to drive people to your site to opt in. Using social media is one way to do this.

Having a blog has the same issues: driving people to the blog in order to read it and click through to buy your books. Here’s a small list of steps to think about – from “go to whoa” – and beyond!

Read and get inspired

Research and plan your book

Write your book with necessary revisions

Get beta readers to review and offer feedback

Edit the book – either yourself or with a reliable editor

Write the blurb and create an excerpt

Find out your target audience and where they hang out

Create a cover, ads and a book trailer

Create or update your author website

Update social media and blog

Publish it

Create a buzz through giveaways etc

Promote via different platforms

Come up with different ways to sell your book

Consider the following:

Create an audiobook

Create profiles on Goodreads and Amazon

Guest posting on other blogs

Blog tours

Create a Podcast

Post videos on Youtube

Conduct readings at local libraries and bookstores

Get involved in Book Fairs

Radio and print interviews

Marketing material, such as bookmarks etc

Create an ebook as a giveaway

Email marketing

More links that might be useful:

http://www.artistfirst.com/authorswanted.htm (Radio interviews)

http://www.thebingbing.com/ (Like Ebay, Twitter and Facebook all in one!)

http://www.weebly.com/ (Great free websites – easy to use)

http://speculativeliterature.org/grants/ (Grants for quality literature, etc)

http://thewritelife.com/writing-residencies/ (Author residencies)

http://www.indiebound.org/ (Find out where your book is available)

http://bookfairs.com/ (Find a local Book Fair)

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ (Get interviewed)

http://www.authorgraph.com/ (Offer signed ebooks!)

http://www.outbrain.com/ (Promote your content)

Create econtracts

You’re probably drowning in all these bits and pieces – yet there’s millions more to discover and as I said – I’m still navigating my way through and trying to figure it all out. I just wanted to share what I have discovered so far and will drop by to comment every now and then – when I’ve found something new or need to offer an update.

Good luck and by all means – if you know of anything else that might be useful – leave a comment!